Dear Brother!

My dear Brother,

Thanks for the concern. I’m OK now. It’s healthy to be in shock once in a while (there should be a study that affirms that). Just as you insinuated the last time, the deed has been done. The battle lost and maybe the trenches already silting up. Musa Yar’adua has “coasted home to a resounding victory”. By now you must have heard he won with over 60% of the total votes “cast”. The glasses are clinking and you can be sure the growth of pot bellies will witness another astronomical increase. The Nigeria Decides and Elections 2007 reporters are already going back to their routine. I can see them chatting away in excitement. It’s been a unique weekend. The day “we” will hand over to another civilian regime is getting nearer. INEC offices across the land are been swept. Eagle Square too. Life has continued. Though the frame has changed; the picture has refused to be replaced.

Electricity was just restored a few minutes ago and I caught the President on TV congratulating Nigerians for a job well done. We didn’t do no job! We are about to do that by embarking on good old siddon look. I wont have you sitting there thinking I did such a bad job. Jolly good Baba knows who did the job. He said aggrieved politicians should head for the tribunals…but I was waiting to hear where the families of the victims of this election would head to. Well, I don’t really believe the courts would change much. Of course, they wouldn’t want to truncate Nigerian “fledging” democracy (Nobody is using “nascent” now).They would rule in the all-conquering national interest. You know, National Interest is the fluid with which we swallow our bitter pills. The ones the kleptocrats and charlatans gave us.

Last time, we were asked to defend our votes. But we did not vote, so what are we going to defend? It wasn’t our fault Bro, it really wasn’t. The INEC people never came to our area and in places were they came, they came without result sheets. So we really don’t have much to defend, see? Besides they are asking us to defend, defend, defend… but nobody wants to say how the defence would be. I guess nobody fancies a visit from the guys in black, especially now ( in their season of anger).Remember, their colleagues are been targeted everywhere. So, we can only run to the law.Yea, law –abiding citizens. You know we love the law so much. Baba even said we should put our hope in the law. I think the yoke on the law is going to be great in the coming days. We are already praying the load doesn’t give it a K-leg as our Baba is wont to say.

Bro, have you ever voted digitally? Nigerians did in the last elections. It was so exciting. The whole process was “digitally ours” in fact. That EDC and EVC machine was da bomb. With it, 500 registered voters can actually multiply to 10000 when the results are announced. That Iwu surely rocks! Such genius. I heard he’s been held from returning home by handshakes. If you can reach him,…I don’t know….but I heard he recently changed some of his telephone numbers…tell him that one day we would meet him on the other side of the river. We want to congratulate him too. And yes, tell him not to forget to come with his helmet. They say rocks like people who rock. Am not sure, but in case it rocks, the helmet would come in handy. I don’t know how you can reach him now, but if you get the number and a machine picks, start saying you are an Observer from Haiti and that you want to commend……I think he will pick then.

I also heard the results are already out in France. Hah, that Royale woman..Senegalese born Sengolene.... In fact, that Socialist woman tried.They said she came second and is already gathering poll points in the days to the second round..Thats well. She’s already great. For our women here, the prospects are still dim. Of course, unless you are the wife of an Ekaette, Danjuma, Kure, Ali or a girlfriend to any of these names. Screen idols are getting a mention too. Maybe I’ll ask my daughter to be a newscaster. I love them.

We almost saw Iraq here the other day. Someone tried to ram a petrol laden tanker into the Electoral umpire’s office at Abuja but a NEPA pole did us one good this time. It stopped the truck. Maybe we should import these poles for use as accident preventers on our accident-prone highways. I know firm that manufactures that, yea, close to the one that printed our ballot papers. But don’t be excited o.There wasn’t anybody in that truck. I think the plotter or driver or… whoever wasn’t sure his suicide pill wasn’t the adulterated one, so he got faint hearted and put a stone in his stead. Talc, calcium, valium,…the guy wasn’t just sure. I think the NAFDAC woman should look into that aspect of fakery since the elections are now over. Anyway, at least we have an innovation in the country. Rocks now drive trucks. If it’s in Nigeria, its possible; everybody and everything rocks.

Some people are saying other people should take to the streets in protest. Tomorrow, I will be walking the streets. I still don't have that job yet. So I will be knocking on yet some more gates.Yesterday was May Day and we didnt get any may day calls.No protest.Who wan die? The Protest from our stomachs won't allow us to move into the streets.

Ahhh…there it goes again. Another power cut. That will force me to stop here as it is already dark. I will write you some other time, but before I stop I want you to think about this quote; its taken from The Sunday Sun of 22nd April 2007.Its from Ojo Maduekwe PDP’s Scribe to Prince Soyebi , INEC’s REC in Abia State where the PDP lost the gubernatorial election. Hear, “We offered him everything and you said you are born again”.

Soyebi was beaten up by political thugs at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Intl Airport. Guess who launch the first slap.? Onyema Ugochukwu, the defeated PDP candidate in the state.And he wants to be a governor? God Forbid times three.What more can a country stand. Bro, i will write you next time jooo

Take care.

Your Brother.

Atakata Eloo

Election Day Diary

Sometime between 2am and 3am

I woke up to the sound of assorted munitions going off and Akon’s Smack That. Some 2 hours ago, as sleep wooed my eyelids, my mind had been at war with my head over the turning off of the Tuface-E-be-like-say playing radio. Sleep eventually settled that by letting my head win. But since they belong to the same party-Sleep and Brain (it was obviously rigged).Now my mind has woken up to claim its victory, but the radio station wasn’t playing Tuface again. Are there any sound of gunshots in Akon’s Smack That? I’m not sure, but the sound of exploding dynamites made sure my mind doesn’t dwell on Akon. Sleep scampered into the closet and boom-boom-boom took charge. I smile. Election Day is here.

7am – 9am

After gathering some “intelligence” from chat groups around, I decided to make the trip down the road to the razed Elelenwo Police Station, (Yea, I know it might be dangerous with all the tension in the air but……instinct and curiosity aint a very rational couple, are they?) I won’t bore anybody with what I saw---you must have seen it anyway--- but it was a horrible and sorry site. It was undeserved despite the polar nature of the Police as regards the elections, I thought. Well, Charcoal merchants have found a goldmine.

Noon – 2pm

“Dem go still announce am, wheda una vote or not” That clincher greeted me as I arrived Polling Unit 08.It came from a PDP party agent. There was an argument between …everybody. Voters had insisted there wasn’t going to be any voting unless they see the result sheet, the one they call INEC Form EC…..Ah, I just lost that now. Doesn’t matter anyway. I had decided to embark on an observer or observing mission since there wasn’t any activity in the polling unit where I registered, so I came down here. Voting finally commenced after assurances from the INEC official that the result sheets would be there before the close of voting. I observed that there were posters of the ANPP candidate everywhere, even next to the “polling center” banner. Remember, I am an Observer. OK. This same wheda-una-vote guy was the first to cast his ballot. After thumb printing right there on the polling clerk’s table, he now turned and displayed his ballot for all to see. Na Wao! Well, Shebi na Open Secret system? Election a la Naija. I sighed and walked back to my polling unit.

2pm - 4pm

Back in my polling unit.Confusion everywhere.The Poll Clerks couldn’t find anybody name in the register. I had to point out the number of the polling unit on the register which wasn’t the number on our temporary voters card.After a few shows of ai-tee-keism from some ignorant party agents, the INEC officials decides I make sense.Pronto.New Register.Voting commences.Of course, I was the first, after all no be me resolve de problem?. Enough activity for the day. On my way home I discovered that voting has already ended in Polling Unit 08.Guess what? The results weren’t announced and the heavens didn’t drop. Same old story. I jejelly continued my journey home.

AFTER ALL THAT….

INEC still “fcuks up” everything. Definition of fcuks up? OK. Annnouncing results in and for places where there were no elections. Declaring winners when the REC is still collating the results. Activity as another PDP….there are plenty others. I am here brooding. Thinking of how I spent the election day and what will happen now.No protests. Nothing. I think about what the late Bola Ige said….hmm, siddon look. Should I do that. I guess I will. I’ve got no choice.

E be like say
Dem don tell us that story again oo .....


VIRGINIA TECH SHOOTINGS

These things occur everyday in Iraq, don’t they? My heart goes out to the victims though.


SUPREME COURT RULING ON ATIKU

Once again these guys showed that they are our last hope, if there is any. I wonder what my erstwhile legal icon (Gani) would do now.

Oluwatoyin: Horror made in Gombe!

On an otherwise exciting morning last week i woke up to the heartbreaking news oof the gruesome murder of Oluwatoyin Olusesan, a teacher in the Northern State of Gombe.Two days ago, an incident (the abduction of the ANPP gubernatorial candidate and former governor, Abubakar Hashidu from a courtroom) that had made national headlines occured in that same state.So listening to Rhythm FM that morning i was like "laid-back Gombe in the news again?Twice this week?"

But my talk isn't about the politicians and how they fool around.It's about Toyin.Poor Toyin.It could have been me and my friends.It could have been anybody. I grieved because i had served in Gombe during my NYSC year.And it was in a town that had an eeringly similar name to the one in which Toyin had been murdered in; another Government Day Secondary School.I became friends with so many of the townsfolk.I thought then, real friends.But now am not so sure again. I remembered the days when rocks will be raining down our roof in the night like we were in hailstorm season.I remembered the unspoken threats. And each time i thought about these, my heart sank further into my bowels. It could have happened to a colleague who the students virtually saw as an opponent because of her forcefulness and strictness.Of course, that was manifested in the frequency of her whipping sessions.The threat was given human form when some students verbally threatened to stone her.But it never happened because i got the Sarki to talk to the students.But it finally happened to Toyin. Its a shame that i now have a doubt about my relationship with my former students; Abu, Umaru, Haruna..Its a shame that feeds on fear.A fear that i will keep on fighting for some time to come ( honestly).Well, in case you've not heard, this is the story of Toyin's death ( culled from the Punch of Thursday March 22,2007).

"Muslim pupils at a secondary school in Gandu, Gombe state, beat a teacher to death after accusing her of desecrating the Koran. According to agency reports, the teacher, Oluwatoyin Olusesan, a Christian, was invigilating an Islamic Religious Knowledge exam at the Government Day Secondary School, Gandu when the incident occurred. The students attacked her outside the school compound after the exam and killed her. They also burnt some of the school blocks in the process.
The Vice Principal, Hajiya Hadiza Gombe said the teacher, who was employed on contract was assigned to invigilate the SS1 pupils who were writing their Islamic Religious Knowledge exams. She added that the teacher suspected that a foul play was about to take place when one of the students wanted to come in with his books to the exam hall. Gombe said when the teacher collected the books and threw them outside, unknown to her, there was a copy of the Holy Quoran among the books. The principal said before they knew what was happening, the students had started chanting Allahu Akbar (God is Great). All efforts to control the rampaging students proved abortive even when the school principal, Mohammed Sadiq, tried to protect the teacher in his office. The principal was also terribly beaten and injured while they set the teacher's car, three classes, the school's clinic, administrative block and library on fire..."


I kept asking myself; where are we heading to when students who are probably not older than 25 years start committing murder without qualms (no matter the guise under which it was done)?.It is a problem that is much bigger than the threat of Maurice Iwu and his INEC.It involves the loss of lives in the instant and the breeding of future Talibans in our midst.It also represents our failure as in nation in the area of religious harmony even after more than 40 years of pushy-jerky existence.Its an indictment of our so called leaders who stir up religious sentiments in order to score cheap political points.It ought to shame the overseers of that warped socialiization process:the Imams, Sarkis, Emirs and governors and of course the Parents.It ought to shame us all that this is happening in our country in this age of Carbon footprints and Nanotechnology.Some of us are still throwing stones when we should be showing love.Shame.

The Story of Your Life

The Story Of Your Life


What you are about to read is neither a song
Nor the musings of a madman all day long
You might want to call it a poem
Or use it to clear your throat of phlegm
Your sighs say they are the rantings of a drunkard
Maybe the confused chants of a retard
Aware of these; i will continue to write
And like drowsy ants to sugar, loony coots i invite

These words i want to be; like probes
Prying into your phyches, itchings in your celebral lobes
No, this is not an exercise in braggadocio
Nor the vain blabbings of an act of fellatio
It can rehabilitate your warped thought processes
Or send you down hell's inner recesses
What you make of it i dont care
' cos it about to expose- your secrets laid bare
Yes! desperation rattles your heart; you are going extinct
The message you see is now becoming distinct
Ding-dong-ding time as you know it flies
Like a bird of prey, it feeds on your lies
Is this poetry? Your terrified soul ask
The answer you want comes; a lazy man's task
Still here it comes, the genesis of your story
That of a twisted life steeped in allegory
Your phobia for this turns into an allergy
But it must be told to heal you of this lethargy
I'll rather let your mouth spurn it
This is the story of your life, tell it bit by bit.

c Endi
Port Harcourt
Nigeria.


D: To all those who had done something "real weird" in their lives.C'mon, tell it and sell it!

Chasing Chickens!

Nigerians from diverse walks of life have hailed the judiciary over the Court of Appeal judgment which affirmed Alhaji Atiku Abubakar as the vice president of Nigeria ( plenty Nigerians in fact).I wish i can pass this advice to Baba.It will do more good letting the VP be, than chasing him around.There is this Igbo proverb that goes " O chu nwa okuko nwe ada" translated "He who chases the chicken will always be the one to kiss the dust". But there's one thing about this proverb, it silently connotes that they that chase chickens will unwittingly expose themselves to public ridicule, just because of a mere "chicken". There are so many ways to catch a chicken than chasing it.(For example, you can put a pin in a morsel of food it's going to eat and....you know the rest.)Sorry, animal lovers.You can also sprinkle grains of corn or rice.

We all know the corruption allegations are politically motivated though they might be true, but why not let the electorate decide if they want a "corrupt" president.The President might be creating a Hero out of a chicken! No matter how absurd it sounds, that just the beauty of democracy! I would have discussed this further but my head is clogged right now.Maybe when am cleared..