Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Dear Brother!

My dear Brother,

Thanks for the concern. I’m OK now. It’s healthy to be in shock once in a while (there should be a study that affirms that). Just as you insinuated the last time, the deed has been done. The battle lost and maybe the trenches already silting up. Musa Yar’adua has “coasted home to a resounding victory”. By now you must have heard he won with over 60% of the total votes “cast”. The glasses are clinking and you can be sure the growth of pot bellies will witness another astronomical increase. The Nigeria Decides and Elections 2007 reporters are already going back to their routine. I can see them chatting away in excitement. It’s been a unique weekend. The day “we” will hand over to another civilian regime is getting nearer. INEC offices across the land are been swept. Eagle Square too. Life has continued. Though the frame has changed; the picture has refused to be replaced.

Electricity was just restored a few minutes ago and I caught the President on TV congratulating Nigerians for a job well done. We didn’t do no job! We are about to do that by embarking on good old siddon look. I wont have you sitting there thinking I did such a bad job. Jolly good Baba knows who did the job. He said aggrieved politicians should head for the tribunals…but I was waiting to hear where the families of the victims of this election would head to. Well, I don’t really believe the courts would change much. Of course, they wouldn’t want to truncate Nigerian “fledging” democracy (Nobody is using “nascent” now).They would rule in the all-conquering national interest. You know, National Interest is the fluid with which we swallow our bitter pills. The ones the kleptocrats and charlatans gave us.

Last time, we were asked to defend our votes. But we did not vote, so what are we going to defend? It wasn’t our fault Bro, it really wasn’t. The INEC people never came to our area and in places were they came, they came without result sheets. So we really don’t have much to defend, see? Besides they are asking us to defend, defend, defend… but nobody wants to say how the defence would be. I guess nobody fancies a visit from the guys in black, especially now ( in their season of anger).Remember, their colleagues are been targeted everywhere. So, we can only run to the law.Yea, law –abiding citizens. You know we love the law so much. Baba even said we should put our hope in the law. I think the yoke on the law is going to be great in the coming days. We are already praying the load doesn’t give it a K-leg as our Baba is wont to say.

Bro, have you ever voted digitally? Nigerians did in the last elections. It was so exciting. The whole process was “digitally ours” in fact. That EDC and EVC machine was da bomb. With it, 500 registered voters can actually multiply to 10000 when the results are announced. That Iwu surely rocks! Such genius. I heard he’s been held from returning home by handshakes. If you can reach him,…I don’t know….but I heard he recently changed some of his telephone numbers…tell him that one day we would meet him on the other side of the river. We want to congratulate him too. And yes, tell him not to forget to come with his helmet. They say rocks like people who rock. Am not sure, but in case it rocks, the helmet would come in handy. I don’t know how you can reach him now, but if you get the number and a machine picks, start saying you are an Observer from Haiti and that you want to commend……I think he will pick then.

I also heard the results are already out in France. Hah, that Royale woman..Senegalese born Sengolene.... In fact, that Socialist woman tried.They said she came second and is already gathering poll points in the days to the second round..Thats well. She’s already great. For our women here, the prospects are still dim. Of course, unless you are the wife of an Ekaette, Danjuma, Kure, Ali or a girlfriend to any of these names. Screen idols are getting a mention too. Maybe I’ll ask my daughter to be a newscaster. I love them.

We almost saw Iraq here the other day. Someone tried to ram a petrol laden tanker into the Electoral umpire’s office at Abuja but a NEPA pole did us one good this time. It stopped the truck. Maybe we should import these poles for use as accident preventers on our accident-prone highways. I know firm that manufactures that, yea, close to the one that printed our ballot papers. But don’t be excited o.There wasn’t anybody in that truck. I think the plotter or driver or… whoever wasn’t sure his suicide pill wasn’t the adulterated one, so he got faint hearted and put a stone in his stead. Talc, calcium, valium,…the guy wasn’t just sure. I think the NAFDAC woman should look into that aspect of fakery since the elections are now over. Anyway, at least we have an innovation in the country. Rocks now drive trucks. If it’s in Nigeria, its possible; everybody and everything rocks.

Some people are saying other people should take to the streets in protest. Tomorrow, I will be walking the streets. I still don't have that job yet. So I will be knocking on yet some more gates.Yesterday was May Day and we didnt get any may day calls.No protest.Who wan die? The Protest from our stomachs won't allow us to move into the streets.

Ahhh…there it goes again. Another power cut. That will force me to stop here as it is already dark. I will write you some other time, but before I stop I want you to think about this quote; its taken from The Sunday Sun of 22nd April 2007.Its from Ojo Maduekwe PDP’s Scribe to Prince Soyebi , INEC’s REC in Abia State where the PDP lost the gubernatorial election. Hear, “We offered him everything and you said you are born again”.

Soyebi was beaten up by political thugs at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Intl Airport. Guess who launch the first slap.? Onyema Ugochukwu, the defeated PDP candidate in the state.And he wants to be a governor? God Forbid times three.What more can a country stand. Bro, i will write you next time jooo

Take care.

Your Brother.

Atakata Eloo

6 comments:

ijeoma obu iheoma said...

this post both enlightened me and depressed me further.. where to begin? i tire of analysing sef..

Pink-satin said...

inec,9ja politics..na god's help we need

Ugo Daniels said...

Its really pathetic and flabbergasting on the level of decay of 9ja's morality when it comes to upholding the wishes of the people like in the just concluded (s)elections. Obj and his evil machinery has succeeded in trampling on human dignity.

I have said 'nuff on this already and only wanna congratulate for putting ya points so succintly across with that tinge of humour.

Nice blog.

Muchas Gracias!!

Bubbles said...

Oh my God! I love this post. I wanted to laugh so bad, but i'm in the library. Your writing is great, so tongue in cheek. I love it.

laspapi said...

Endi,
this is the story of our country. A story without end, ever turning, the plot replaying, time after time...

Endi said...

@Aije : Me sef i don tire..but i no fit help am.
@Pink- satin : Sure!
@Ugo Daniels : Funny? Me?....i feel gratified that am funny for once.Gracias.
@Bubbles : Thanks o.But u for just laugh...
@Laspapi : Everything is actually a story in 9ja...thanks for coming around oo!