Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Chasing Chickens!

Nigerians from diverse walks of life have hailed the judiciary over the Court of Appeal judgment which affirmed Alhaji Atiku Abubakar as the vice president of Nigeria ( plenty Nigerians in fact).I wish i can pass this advice to Baba.It will do more good letting the VP be, than chasing him around.There is this Igbo proverb that goes " O chu nwa okuko nwe ada" translated "He who chases the chicken will always be the one to kiss the dust". But there's one thing about this proverb, it silently connotes that they that chase chickens will unwittingly expose themselves to public ridicule, just because of a mere "chicken". There are so many ways to catch a chicken than chasing it.(For example, you can put a pin in a morsel of food it's going to eat know the rest.)Sorry, animal lovers.You can also sprinkle grains of corn or rice.

We all know the corruption allegations are politically motivated though they might be true, but why not let the electorate decide if they want a "corrupt" president.The President might be creating a Hero out of a chicken! No matter how absurd it sounds, that just the beauty of democracy! I would have discussed this further but my head is clogged right now.Maybe when am cleared..

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

No Val Day!

Since i wasnt going to celebrate that day called Valentine, i decided to distract myself with some love jokes...maybe that would put me in a good mood in preparation for the hectic days ahead when i will still have to be in the Lab by 6 pm , running PT's on 16 to 18 year olds who are scared of getting themselves pregnant after the romping on Valentine's Day...Its never been my day anyways,it's always been Val's Day.Val is my womanising neigbour.So, here are some jokes i found.Some are quite bland though...

"Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"

"A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"
She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!

"Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish".

"Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife."

"One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby".

"Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success".

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste".

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house..

"Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one".

"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning".

"If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep".

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Living, Loving with a Clear Head

I celebrated one year of living (and "loving") with a clear head yesterday.Yea, i've been in thing and you've been clear headed since you were two.But me? I just learnt that not all seven of them who profess Love and say, " Master, Master, just say you love us and we will never scatter you heart" end up staying with you 48 hours after bedlam. I thought i knew it all before.Well, now i know, i wasn't halfway there and probably will never know it all with these feminine creatures.And Hey!, am better off for it!.But the anniversary reminds me anyway, that women will always be women. You are itching to hear the tale, keep itching...'till i get a proper replacement.Then i will spin the tale..