Since i wasnt going to celebrate that day called Valentine, i decided to distract myself with some love jokes...maybe that would put me in a good mood in preparation for the hectic days ahead when i will still have to be in the Lab by 6 pm , running PT's on 16 to 18 year olds who are scared of getting themselves pregnant after the romping on Valentine's Day...Its never been my day anyways,it's always been Val's Day.Val is my womanising neigbour.So, here are some jokes i found.Some are quite bland though...
"Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
"A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"
She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!
"Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish".
"Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife."
"One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby".
"Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success".
"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste".
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house..
"Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one".
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning".
"If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep".
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